This is our first hosiery review for the site. In the coming reviews and posts, you will learn that the denizens of the Boots and Cats Bungalow have a strong appreciation for sheer hosiery. That’s my fault and I’m not in the least bit bothered with this assignment of blame.

Back in spring 2018, a new company, later named Sheertex Sheers, started a Kickstarter campaign for “Indestructible Sheer Tights”. With claims of sheer, soft to the touch, and indestructible we had to try them. Have you seen our hosiery budget around this house? It’s somewhere around the GDP of a small nation. This sounds like a “win-win” as the business folks like to call it.

Months later, after missing the Christmas delivery I was promised because they ran 50 pairs short, I finally received them this week. Let’s get down to the review.

I’d love to start with how they feel but that isn’t the first impression. That would be the smell. The overpowering smell. In fact, I can’t escape it with MO sitting next to me, taking one for the team wearing these pantyhose. It’s an unpleasant blend of petroleum and death. I might be exaggerating the death part but it’s more dramatic that way. Also, I might be getting cancer from the fumes de-gassing off of these tights. Let’s just say they need a process for letting the tights fully de-gas before sending them out.

(NOTE: The cat sat on her lap and didn’t purr as loud as normal. We can only presume this was chemical warfare related.)

The Packaging

Let’s build the suspense for the tights and talk next about the included wash bag from the campaign.

…

That talked about in its entirety due to the complete lack of its existence. Instead, we can talk about the included “velvet bag.”

If their intention was to give us a sense of a premium product, a plastic lined cheap velvet bag was the worst way to do it. Trust me, this bag didn’t leave a positive impression. I’d rather have seen it wrapped in a plastic baggie than this. It’s a waste of money and resources on something I’m going to throw away.

Indestructible?

The first claim on the campaign was indestructible. Let’s test them out!

Overall, I’m pretty impressed by the strength of these pantyhose. They might not be “indestructible” but they are stronger than the average bear.

How do they look?

We enjoy hosiery for it tactile and aesthetic appeal. Really, it doesn’t matter how indestructible they are if they don’t look and feel good.

I’m gonna be straight up here. They look terrible. They’re more of an opaque weight (60-150 denier or so) vs a sheer (10 – 20 denier). The coloring looks diseased (maybe the degassing gave them cancer?) and uneven. The vertical striations are more reminiscent of the cheapest of cheap pantyhose. I guess if you never want to buy pantyhose again and don’t care what they look like, these would be fine. These are more of a “my employer requires me to wear these damned things so, fine, I’m wearing them are you happy?” kind of situation.

How do they feel?

I’m having trouble getting close enough to them to feel them but I’ll take one for the team. They feel like… mediocre tights. The kind you buy in the winter as opaques so you can still wear a skirt/dress when it gets chilly out. They aren’t sandpaper but they aren’t pleasant, much less sensual. The deliberately cheap “other guys” sample included in our Kickstarter backer kit feels better to the touch.

MO’s take:

I’ve gotten better feeling pantyhose out of eggs.

Ew, rubbing my legs together feels terrible.

They feel like the kind of tights that made me not want to wear tights when I was a kid.

They feel like shitty compressions socks.

My experience has been that many people who hate hosiery of all forms have not experienced the feel of nice hosiery. These do nothing to help the cause of spreading the joy of hosiery to the world.

Kickstarter Promises vs. Reality

• 10x stronger than steel
  • Not buying it.
• Anti bacterial
  • I’ll get back to you when I’ve failed to grow a culture in them.
• Moisture wicking
  • Can’t really say. It’s 30F outside right now. Somehow I’m skeptical this is any more so than any other hosiery.
• Soft to the touch
  • Yes, it is softer than steel.
• 30 Day money back guarantee
  • I haven’t tried for this.
• Proprietary rip-proof knit
  • Sure, I’ll give them this one.
• Dig-Free waistband
  • This was one bright spot. The waist band was comfier than average.
• Chaff resistant
  • I think they mean chafe resistant. Most decent pantyhose are a great way to fight chafing in general. These haven’t been worn enough to say they are anything special.
• Sheer
  • Hahahahahahahahaha… no. The campaign talks about using <30 denier fibers. Yeah, I’m not buying it for a second.
• Tested up to 50 wears
  • OK, sure. I’m not sure why anyone would willingly wear these 50 times but I’ll give them this one.
• Naturally cooling
  • Some hosiery is cooler than others. I’m skeptical.
• Reinforced seams
  • If the fiber is so indestructible, why?

Conclusion

These are just terrible 1/10. Would not buy again. If you want great looking, great feeling, and long lasting hosiery… Go buy some Wolford’s. The Neon 40s are half the price of these and will last through months of use.